American Idol Tour Review (or "Who let those soccer moms loose in Dallas??)

I would like to introduce you to my guest blogger, Mrs. IdolSmith. That's her screen name from our "Fantasy" American Idol League. She is a HUGE Jason Castro fan. She joined his fan club and started connecting with other Castro fans online (aka Dreadheads!) Naturally, she wanted to attend the Jason Castro Fan Club BBQ that was thrown by his church ladies just outside Dallas. We worked up the following report for our fellow competitors. Bear in mind that most of our teams were comprised of artists, managers, songwriters, agents, etc. Mrs. IdolSmith, however, is a "civilian" - and she brings an innocence to it all that is...... er, refreshing? (I am Mrs. SimonSays)

Take it away, Mrs. IdolSmith!

LUNCH WITH PROF B
We arrived in Dallas around 1 pm and met Prof B at Mi Cocina for lunch. He was really nice and I'm so glad I finally got to meet the famous professor! I wish he hadn't had to do responsible things like teach class on Monday night, because it would have been fun for him to go to the concert with us. Although, he may have out shouted me when our boy Jason took stage.
(Mrs. SimonSays' 2 cent's worth: It was great to see Prof B - he was his wonderfully jaded, sarcastic self!)

THE BBQ
Having never been a part of a fan club I was excited to go to the BBQ and meet my new friends. We had a hard time finding where it was and finally saw someone enter a building by a pool in the city park. Okay, if there had not been Jason signs and music, I would have turned around thinking we had interrupted bingo night at the community center. It seemed some were stuck in a time warp. I felt a little ovewhelmed at first, but after mingling around and putting screen names with faces, I thought,"Hey! these are my people! Let's have some BBQ!" Several, as Mrs. SimonSays put it, were definitely "waving the crazy flag", but most were just good ole Castro fans.
(Mrs. SimonSays' two cent's worth: Mrs. IdolSmith was shell-shocked (bless her heart), but it was exactly what I expected. Prof B and I TRIED to warn her! For all you music biz insiders - some of these folks would show up on your "Weird Fan List". (bless their hearts)).

AUTOGRAPH SEEKING
We heard people were gathering at the AA Center to try and meet the Idols when they arrived into town, so on Monday around 12:30 pm we headed to the AA Center parking lot at close to 100 degrees. Mrs. SimonSays kept saying that she seriously doubted anyone was coming out to sign autographs and that if they did she would be really surprised. I never wondered if they would come out, it was just a question of when. We had fun standing near some twenty-somethings and with a few girls who had snuck out of their downtown offices and were somewhat embarrassed to be there. After about 2 hours of standing and talking, here come the buses! Very shortly after that, out comes David Cook! Mrs. SimonSays was falling all over herself! It was nuts! She forgot all about being too cool for school and jumped in a picture faster than anything. Then out comes Archie who was coughing and acting sick and didn't want to stand close to anyone. We talked to Kristy Lee a little bit and she said she was looking for houses in Nashville. Finally comes Jason! Yea! We saw a fan give Jason her cell phone to talk to a friend or something and I was wishing so bad we could make Mr. Seacrest Out’s day with a call from Jason, but I didn't have his cell number. We all know how much he loved Jason, and rightly so. Jason signed the back of my shirt with a smiley face that had dreads! And then of course we took a picture. I wish I wasn't looking SO happy, but I was laughing because I actually could NOT believe that I was there hugging Jason Castro! *sigh*I know its sick, so sick. The culmination of my mini mid-life crisis! (Yep, Mr. Team 35, just wait until you turn 40, you’ll be the first one buying the sports car.)
We were sad we didn’t get to see Johnsie. I thought Mrs. SimonSays was going to shed a tear or two, but after some guacamole and a margarita she forgot all about it. (Good thing Mrs. Commish decided to take a trip with the Mr. instead of coming with us. It would have been a wasted trip with no Johnsie sighting, plus waiting on the buses could have ruined her reputation).
The Dreadhead in charge of making gift bags with all kinds of Texas shaped snacks for the Idols asked me to bring my cookies (I had posted a picture of them back in May -at the height of my sickness and addiction to his fan club website). I wrapped them up in cellophane and put an official sticker on the back with ingredients. Since we own a restaurant I know how to do it right. We missed seeing Brooke because she came out so late and we were starving and hot, but we heard that she came out and said that she had broken into the chips and salsa and eaten the Jason cookie! I am sure he was scrumptious.
(Mrs. SimonSays' two cent's worth: I have to admit, this part was a little humbling for me - as I am more accustomed to being ON the bus with my artist friends - not WAITING on the bus! But the pictures that we got were well worth being pressed against sweaty fans for two hours! As far as the goody bags - file this under the "items that never make it past the road manager" category.)

THE SHOW
The show was AWESOME! I thought every one of them was much better live than on TV. It may have something to do with singing the same three songs for the past 6 weeks and no Simon, but whatever it was, they were really good. I loved Brooke and Johnsie of course. I thought Jason did great, especially when he sang the Gnarls Barkley song "Crazy". He waved a Texas flag and got a big hometown welcome. I was reminded while listening to him that he and Brooke are what I like- the singer/songwriters types. Brooke sang Coldplay's "Yellow" and Fiest "1,2,3,4" She was so good! David A. was great too! The little girl next to me had been quiet all night and when he took stage she squeezed her teddy bear (honestly) and screamed with her eyes shut. David Cook was great with the audience and seemed very much the leader. We saw a fan give him a black cowboy hat when we were at the buses and he was so happy to get it. When they all came out for the final song, he was wearing the cowboy hat and it got passed around to Brooke, Kristy, Jason, Carly -as they danced and sang to the Commish's favorite song "Please Don't Stop the Music"!
I am excited now that I have one more concert to look forward to! Taking the boys to Evansville in a couple of weeks -seats 6th row from the stage! Sure you don't want to come with me again, Mrs. SimonSays? Bessie Moo? Anyone?
Mr. IdolSmith said this is the year my children will remember their mother running off to chase the American Idols. I have the Commish to partly thank for all this. If he had not been so persistent in falsely accusing Jason of being a stoner, I wouldn’t have been driven to the AI boards for research and would have never met all my new friends online and become an addict. He’s lucky Mr. IdolSmith didn’t press charges. I can only come to one conclusion, IdolSchmidoling is not for the weak at heart.
(Mrs. Simon Says' two cent's worth: Cooksy, Johnsie and Brooke were great - came across like true artists - well, except for that cover tune thing! Chikeze and Ramielle were boring, Kristy Lee was robotic, Carly started good, but got annoying, Archie sang great, but had zero personality and we agreed to go buy souvenirs for the kids during Syesha's set. Castro was what you would expect. That is as diplomatic as I can be. I did enjoy the show, but I will have to decline the offer to repeat these shenanigans in Evansville!)

Job Description

Your "work" day will include the following:

Lounging on the deck in the sun - for about 5 minutes
Lying on the couch for a couple of hours
Lounging on the deck again - for about 5 minutes
Lying on Sydney's bed for a couple of hours
Afternoon nap under the coffee table
Lounging on the deck - for about 5 minutes
Going for a lovely jaunt around the neighborhood in the evening
Your day may or may not include rummaging through the garbage can
You will end your day with your choice of either lying on a cushion next to the bed
or sneaking into Sydney's room to lie on her soft blanket which falls into the floor every night

Oh? Does this sound like your average day??

Then you must be one of my dogs, Maggie or Holly!

Consider My World Rocked

Change is almost always good. And it is often hard. I consider myself to be a somewhat easy going, even spontaneous, kind of person. But I swear my new routine is killing me! I have not set an alarm clock in years, not unless we were heading on a fabulous vacation and had to catch an early flight. When our alarm went off at 6:15 last Monday morning, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Nevertheless, an hour later Sydney was dressed for her first day of Kindergarten, thanks to Mark. And I was dressed for my first day of work. We got to Syd's school on time where we threaded our way through a sea of video camera-carrying dads and teary moms in the kindergarten hallway. She was very brave as we kissed her goodbye, then left her in a room full of small strangers. Mark went on to the "Boo Hoo Breakfast" for the parents of Kindergartners and I hustled across town to the School Board for my orientation.

After two hours of being spoken "down" to (the speaker addressed us as if we were an audience of 1st graders!), I was released to return to the school and start my job. It could not have been a better first day. People went out of their way to introduce themselves to me and make me feel welcome. The office worker that I was for 15 years slowly started to awaken. I found myself falling easily back into the camaraderie that comes from working together. I was briefed on who's who and who doesn't get along with who and most importantly, what we do for lunch.

On the days that I didn't work at the school, I learned the rules of drop off and pick up. It is a well-choreographed operation that takes place every morning and afternoon with buses, cars, hangtags and walkie talkies. I just followed the car in front of me and did whatever they did and hoped they weren't a Kindergarten parent too! By Thursday night, when I laid out our clothes and made our lunches I was truly feeling like I was getting the hang of this new life. "I can do this," I thought to myself.

And then the alarm went off at 6:15 Friday morning - with no consideration for the long night we had, no consideration for the dog who was sick all night or Sydney who kept getting in bed with us or Mark who finally gave up and watched TV in the middle of the night. I just had to chuckle and realize that it may take some time to adjust to this significantly changed schedule.

So I find myself very tired lately. Very tired, but thankful.

News Flash

I found out today that I got the job. Yeah, I know I didn't tell very many of you that I had interviewed for it. It's a part-time job at Sydney's new school. I'll be an "office assistant" (translation - "makin' copies!") 3 days a week. The principal apologetically told me that it's not a glamorous job and it doesn't pay very well. "Perfect!" I thought to myself. Seriously, that is just perfect for me. I mean, I'm not looking for a career. I already have two: mom and songwriter. I was just looking for a way to help out financially now that Syd will be in Kindergarten. I'm a little nervous to re-enter the work force (can I wear jeans? how will it feel to have a boss again?), but I'm looking forward to the camaraderie. I immediately liked the women who I will be working with. I feel very blessed to have gotten the offer, as there were many applicants. This may sound silly, but it feels really good to be chosen for something! In the songwriting world, getting turned down is something you get used to. Not that you ever LIKE getting turned down, it's just something that comes with the territory.

WHICH brings me to a little point of clarification. Last week when I wrote my two sentence blog, I wasn't trying to be cryptic. I just couldn't give a lot of details because feelings could have been hurt. I CAN tell you that it was a songwriting thing. It had to do with how difficult cuts are to come by in this business and how any and EVERY cut should be appreciated. But I'm over it now. I am trying to gracefully distance myself from the hoopla.

Lately I've been saying that if I wasn't FROM here, I'd be moving home. Maybe that's what this part-time job is for me. A way to take a break and re-group. A change of scenery. In a job where you see results for your hard work.

The weird thing is that the ideas keep coming. Stronger than ever. I guess my muse left a forwarding address.........

More proof that life does not always make sense:

When someone gets something that means nothing to them - that would have meant the world to you. Go figure.

Honestly

It's hard to know exactly how to follow last week's post. I feel like that was my Jerry Maguire "mission statement". (Which, by the way, comes pretty close to being the perfect movie in my book: football movie meets chick flick!)

Thank you for your supportive responses. (most in the form of phone calls and emails - you cyber rebels!) It felt good to be honest. After further thought, I've realized that honesty is what this is all about anyway. I mean, I've pretty much been living life how I want to - cooking, raising Sydney, loving Mark, deepening my friendships. And writing when I felt like it. But I told YOU what I thought you wanted to hear. That I was perfectly balancing the writing with the parenting. Pursuing it hard. Competing with the best of them. Truth is, I haven't had anything resembling a "full time" writer's schedule in 5 years. (a little bundle, who I instantly fell in love with, changed all that) I have had seasons of very prolific writing. And seasons of very little writing. But I have done the best that I can do. I have said this before: I hope the seeds that I have sown will take root and grow. I really do. But I can say that it feels good to have hope in the future - whether the future holds musical success, or not.

Now, if I continue to be honest, I have to say that all of this is easier said than done. I met Jennifer for lunch this week. She had read my blog and was graciously hashing things over with me. She caught me in a vulnerable moment. (partially attributed to the fact that I had just come from a kickboxing class where I had to put my head between my knees to keep from passing out! I didn't have the energy to be "upbeat"!) I confessed that I was sad and hurt about how some things in my career turned out. I told her how I was relieved to finally be letting some things go, but I couldn't help feeling a sense of loss. A sense of loss for how I THOUGHT things were supposed to work out. Because I was honest and because I let my guard down, we had one of the best discussions we've had in years. It was like old times. And she had such good perspective. She told me that my marriage is one of the most loving she has ever seen and that Syd is one of the most precious little girls she has ever known. She encouraged me to truly ENJOY my sweet little family.

And that is exactly what I plan to do.

Existence: Justified

I need to say something publicly. To the four of you. Okay, I think it's more like 20-25 of you who are so kind to read my blog. There is something I've been hearing myself say a lot lately. Maybe I've said it to you. I will be in a conversation and will say, "When Sydney starts Kindergarten in the Fall I will be able to have a normal writing schedule! I plan to write 3 or 4 days a week!" And inside I'm going, "Are you crazy?? I do NOT want to write anywhere near that much! Not songs, anyway." I think I say it to justify my existence. To prove that I'm a "professional writer." If I'm honest, I have to tell you that my heart pounds when I think about Syd starting Kindergarten. I don't often acknowledge how fulfilling it is being her mom. What I'm looking at is five long days a week. 8:00 to 3:00. I'm going to have a lot of time on my hands. And now that I have time to do what I THOUGHT I wanted to do, I'm not so sure it's what I want anymore.

Don't get me wrong. I will always be a songwriter. But I am re-defining exactly what that means for my life. When I was in California, I was telling Jules that there's something I love about the Hollywood mentality. Work hard for 3 or 4 months and then take a couple months off. It's the ebb and flow. I have loved writing for Julie's project. Writing FOR something. For me, it's so much more gratifying than writing just because I have an appointment. Again, don't get me wrong. I love writing when there's inspiration and a great idea, but I can't (won't, really) keep scheduling appointments just because it's what I think I should be doing.

So, here's the more accurate version of what next year will look like for me: I will write songs when I want to. When I feel like it. With my friends. And there will be times that I get inspired and will pull out my guitar and write some things by myself. I will spend a lot of time at Sam & Zoe's - blogging and writing fiction. And I will cook. Have I mentioned how much I love to cook? Probably not, because that doesn't sound very "cool." But I love it. I love dicing up garlic, onion, peppers and broccoli and stir frying them and concocting new sauces for my Chinese dishes. I love cooking my mom's recipes that she has lovingly written down for me in a cookbook. And I love cooking for other people. I love having people on our deck and in our kitchen and dining room. I love taking dinner to people who need a little help. Yes, there will be lots of cooking come Fall.

But I imagine next year will be busy. Much busier than I'm anticipating now. Jules' record will take off and I think (no, I BELIEVE) we will get some big film and television placements. We have purposely put all of our eggs in one basket. We have chosen to do things very differently than how they do it on Music Row. Things COULD still happen for me on Music Row. But it won't be because I have knocked myself out and jumped through hoops. I've been there, done that.

And down deep, I DO believe my existence is justified. According to God, anyway. And Mark and Sydney.