Friday, October 2, 2009

The Blogger Returns

It has been exactly 6 months since my last confession.....um, I mean blog posting! But sometimes blogging does indeed feel like confession.

And boy, do I have some things to confess! I turned 43 today. I am not ashamed of it, but I have struggled with it more this year than in years past. For me, it always goes back to "what do I have to show for all these years?" Any time I am lamenting my rocky career path, I always end up exclaiming, "and I am 43 (or 30 or 35 or 41), for heaven's sake!" as if there are certain mile stones that ought to have been achieved by such and such age.

I was inspired and moved and brought to tears by the movie, "Julie & Julia" yesterday. I saw it by myself. In fact, it was the first time I have EVER seen a movie by myself. (which is a whole other can of worms for later!) It was wonderful. I feel like it was tailor made for me. Julia Child never published a cookbook until well into her forties. She couldn't even boil an egg at age 40! Such a message for women, like myself, who are still pursuing crazy dreams a little later in life! It was even more inspiring for me, personally, because I AM WRITING A COOKBOOK! Can you believe it? I had the idea a few months ago that my dear friends in Point Of Grace should do a cookbook. We are now in the stage of "shopping" our proposal, but I have no doubt that this is going to happen. For me. At age 43.

Another confession: I had long since lost hope of getting another country cut. Well, more good news came out of the Point Of Grace camp yesterday. They are recording the song that I wrote with them on their country record! This blessed event is happening on Monday. (Needless to say, Point Of Grace is my favorite group in the whole world right now!)

And while I'm confessing, I need to tell you that I have been in the bluest funk for the past few months. My job did not end well at the elementary school last Spring and I found myself in a creative drought. Like the writer, Julie, in the movie, I found a safe haven in cooking. It gave me a sense of purpose. I cooked and baked and sliced and diced my way back to sanity. And one day as I stood in my kitchen, I had the revelation that I could combine this love of food and cooking with my desire to write. I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my career. At age 43.

Maybe I should say some "Hail Marys" or something as penance for my lack of faith!