Theologians, A Losing Streak and The Christmas Corner

I don't have anything specific that I want to talk about. I just feel like it's time for me to write another blog. I've been "researching" other people's blogs and quite honestly, I'm intimidated! Apparently, I didn't get the memo about being some kind of theologian if you want to write a blog. I struggled for about a week, trying to come up with something of redeeming spiritual value to bestow upon you. But the thing I keep coming back to is that I just have to be myself. If I accidentally say something inspirational, well, praise the Lord.

It is now official that the Titans are on a losing streak. They've lost 3 games in a row (please be advised that if the Titans were still on a winning streak, I would refer to them as "we" - as in "we WERE on a winning streak") Someday I would like to do some kind of human behavior study on sports fans. I cannot explain to you why I take it so hard when we lose (ahem, when THEY lose!) I mean, I don't KNOW them. It's like I share in all of the disappointment, but NONE of the outlandish NFL salaries that cushion the blow of defeat. Sigh. I don't know. I've said it before: I am NOT a good fan!

Well, Christmas is here. But isn't it still November?? I felt weird deliberating over Christmas decorations at Michael's today - at first. Jules and I ran in "for a quick 10 minutes" to grab a few things on the way to the studio. FORTY minutes later we lugged garland, ornaments and a neon green mini Christmas tree (for Syd's room) to the car. So I turned the corner. The Christmas corner. I remember having a dilemma in high school one year about whether it was too early in the season to give Gayla a Christmas sweatshirt for her birthday. Her birthday is December 7th!!!!! In this day and age, we've already had the tree up for two weeks, been to 3 parties and are already thinking about New Year's Eve by then!! The downside of this early celebration is trying to explain to little Sydney that no, it's NOT Christmas yet, it's the Christmas SEASON. I've explained this to her 10 times a day since Thanksgiving. Bless her little heart - I guess we have four more weeks of her excited exclamations of "Mama, look at the lights! Is it Christmas?? Is it Christmas right NOW??"

Those are my random thoughts for now. Maybe I will return soon with more organized thoughts!

A Little Perspective

Oh. My. Goodness! Disney World is overwhelming - and mostly in a GOOD way. Mostly. I think it's going to take a few days for me to process it all. We've been home for a few hours and I am still reeling. And I'm feeling like maybe it's time to go get in line for something! I did my research. Early to mid November was supposed to be the second slowest time of year at Disney World. HA! Turns out I forgot about Veteran's Day. The Orlando area schools were out on Monday, so EVERYONE decided to take a little weekend trip to Disney. Plus - it is a big military holiday (duh!) - and a lot of servicemen and women are given extra time off around Veteran's Day. And where do they go?? Why yes, the Magic Kingdom, of course!

My inclination is to report all the things I wish we had done differently. That is what keeps whirling around in my mind. So let's pretend I have already regaled you with stories of crowds, hour-long shuttle rides and mad dashes to the potty (at the most inopportune times through throngs of people).

If I only had the good things left to tell you, I would tell you about the perfect weather. I would tell you how Sydney's face lit up when she met Cinderella and how she kept asking if I could still see Ariel's "kiss" (bright red lipstick) on her forehead hours after Ariel kissed her. I would talk about dinner at the castle, followed by a Christmas party in the park. I would mention the Christmas parade and how snow fell on Main Street. I would tell you that the castle shimmered with a million lights that changed from blue to silver to purple as the fireworks rained down in the most breath-taking display I have ever seen.

I would tell you about the nicest family we met on the shuttle. The dad is in the Air Force and had been in Iraq for 4 months. He is home for two weeks (unexpectedly, to attend a seminar). I would tell you how honored I was to share in the mom's excitement at having her husband home. I would tell you how cute it was that the 5 year old and 1 1/2 year old were all over their Daddy - and how he was loving every minute. I would tell you how proud I was when Mark thanked him for his service to our country.

I would tell you that next week he will return to Iraq for 8 more months.

I would tell you how that puts everything in perspective.

I can tell you that I am grateful I got to share the magic of Disney World with people I love. And I can tell you that our Air Force friends feel the same way.

The Calm

As I sit here writing this blog, sun pours through my dining room window. Holly Dog sits beside me, nodding off as she soaks in the warmth. The dryer is humming, the kitchen is clean and I am at peace. For now. I recognize this strange calm. And it makes me nostalgic - peacefully nostalgic. That is, if it's even possible to be nostalgic about events that haven't even occurred yet. In two days we will take Sydney on her first trip to Disney World. She just has no idea what is in store for her. I am already bracing myself for the chaos, as well as the tender memories that are just around the corner. I am steeling myself for the stress of modern day air travel, for the absurdity of creeping sock footed through security with booster seat, stroller, computer and 4 year old in tow. I have been casually packing for two days. Don't be too impressed. It's really not like me to already be half packed. And it's actually working against me. The presence of the suitcases in our bedroom floor has set the dogs on edge. They click around nervously, following me from room to room, fearing our departure. But a week from now it will all be over. The Disney World flurry will be replaced by the Thanksgiving flurry. Mark's family will come to town and join my family for the festivities. It will be crazy with all the kids, but nothing does my heart better than having all my people in one place. And with Thanksgiving comes full on Holiday Season. Yes, I am thankful for this calm, this calm before the beautiful, frenetic storm that is brewing.

Mosaic

I am 52 pages into Amy Grant's book, "Mosaic: Pieces of My Life So Far." I finally had to put it down because I have cried my way through the first several chapters. I guess it wouldn't matter except that I'm sitting at Sam & Zoe's. I came to write a new blog, promising myself that I would only read a few pages of the book. But I couldn't stop. I know part of the emotion comes from knowing Amy personally, for many years. We have never been close, but have always been friendly. I have always been a fan, though mostly in secret. I grew up in music business circles where it is simply "not cool" to be a fan - or at least that's how it seemed from my teenage perspective. Anyway, many of these stories she tells - I remember. I was there. Or I heard the story the first time she told it. So I would have expected this book to move me. What I was not prepared for is the way that I identify with her voice, her melancholy. Even the happy stories are wistful, full of nostalgia. It is almost too much for me. If I had to say, I think I would tell you that my tears are mostly from relief. It feels so good to know that someone else walks around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. If you were to meet me (most of you have!), you'd think I am lighthearted and fun-loving. And you'd be right - partly. But even in the best of times, when I am laughing and truly enjoying myself, there is a part of me deep inside saying, "Please, please don't let this end. Please let it always be like this!" If I'm honest, I have to admit that I'm probably more comfortable in the hard times - in the hard times when melancholy is actually appropriate. And I have to say that it feels good to be in such good company. Thanks, Amy.