An Open Letter To Amy Grant

Dear Amy,

I want you to know how very deeply I am moved by your new record. Jennifer gave me a copy two days ago and it promptly became the CD that repeats over and over in my car as I run around town, mostly doing mom things. As I listened I was transported back to my childhood on "Arms Of Love." I was struck with just how long you have had an influence on my life. Unlike the vast majority of your fans, I have actually known you personally since the early 80's. We have lived similar lives (except for the fact that you became a celebrity). We both grew up in Nashville and we both grew up at Belmont Church where both of our fathers were elders. You went on retreats with our youth group and spoke in our Sunday School class. I will never forget the day that you let us help you and Michael teach "Thy Word" to the congregation.

You and I have never been close but have always had a friendly relationship. I have had a unique opportunity to watch you live out your faith. Sometimes it was up close as I babysat your children and did "The Loft" with you. A lot of the time it was from afar but I was always watching. Being six years younger than you, I thought of you as a role model. As I grew older I realized that you were not perfect. But what you ARE is way more important. You are genuine. I would tell your listeners that you mean every word on this new project. What you are singing about it so unique to you, yet SO universal at the same time. Thank you for saying the hard stuff. The vulnerable stuff.

The different circles that we run in often intersect. And I am thankful when they do. But in case I don't see you in the near future I wanted to go ahead and thank you for inspiring me as a fellow songwriter, mom and woman of God. Our ages don't seem that far apart these days and as I listen to your music, I recognize that we have arrived at similar places in our lives.

I am so glad you made this record. It's just what I needed and I think it's what the rest of the world needs right now too!

Love,

Julie

P.S. Meet me at Bread & Co. 10-12 years from now when our last little birds have left the nest! Maybe we can catch up then!

What If

I broke my self-enforced vow of songwriting silence today. It was time. I had put it off long enough, even going to such great lengths as writing a cookbook to keep from having to write a song. I was a little rusty, but I had expected to be. My co-writer, Phil Madeira, was as gracious and funny as ever and I am sure this helped to ease my nerves.

I am still trying to figure out all of the reasons that I felt betrayed enough by songwriting that I would consider walking away. The music industry is one of the few businesses where talent and hard work don't always add up to success. It is hard to know that some of your best work will never see the light of day. That shows you right there that I don't necessarily write for the love of writing. I admit that I want to be heard, to be recognized. Most of all, I think I just got tired of feeling like I was spinning my wheels.

Writing the cookbook with Point Of Grace reminded me about the joy of creating. I can now hold in my hands a beautiful, hardback book full of my heart and soul and words where six months ago there was no such thing. I had an idea and said, "What if....?" Well, what if I approached my songwriting that way? What if I didn't worry about "commerciality" and trying to compete? What if I actually had fun with it again?

After chatting for awhile, as songwriters tend to do, Phil and I wrote a very irreverent, bluegrass funeral song! As Phil and I talked about his good buddy Tom Howard's funeral, I distinctly remember Phil saying, "Hey, what if we wrote a song about directions for your own funeral?" Even with my semi-phobia of funerals, I whole-heartedly agreed. And the song turned out great. Special, even. There was a time that I would have tried to talk him out of it, that I would have pushed for something a little more practical....and commercial. I would have missed out on being part of a great song.

The melancholy side of me sees the glass as half empty. I appreciate that darker side of myself and draw from it often in my writing. But that is also the side of me that answers the question, "What if?" with "It would never work."

If I appeal to my lighter side, the side of myself that has seen doors swing wide open lately, then I would answer that question with a resounding, "Yes! What if!"

Following

Now that I am re-committed to my own blog, I find myself wanting to read other blogs, especially those of my friends. On the other hand, when I am NOT blogging, the guilt - and probably envy - keeps me from reading anybody else's. If I had realized how inspired I would be by the blogs of my friends, then I would've started "following" their blogs ages ago!

"A Life In The Arts" is Phil Madeira's blog. It reads like a novel, reminiscent of Pat Conroy. Phil is a studio musician, producer, singer/songwriter and a visual artist, as well. His writer's "voice" is beautiful in the same way that his singing voice is beautiful: deep, gruff and hauntingly familiar.

"lovinglorilee" is Lori Loving's hilarious new blog. It is full of wacky, embarrassing, true stories that will have you snickering in front of your computer one minute, and the next minute you will be reeling from the impact of a spiritual truth. She weaves the sacred and the humorous together beautifully and will leave you wondering what will happen next!

"The Flip Project" is the brave undertaking of Nicolle Clawson. On January 1, she gave herself the mission to shoot a short video EVERY DAY during 2010 and write a blog to accompany it. Twenty eight days in, her blog is already a huge success. Her videos and blogs have included a car on fire, suspected polygamy next door and the ups and downs of building a career as a singer/songwriter. Intriguing, huh?

"Reflections On Being Present" is Jenna Schrader's blog. The title of the blog speaks volumes. Jenna chronicles her quest to learn about God, life and herself through her nature walks. (and trail running!) Peace emanates from her pages and they read almost like a devotional. She posts beautiful photographs, mostly of her beloved "heart rocks," which she collects. This blog makes me want to commune with nature more often!

"Vacation Boy" belongs to Joel Lindsey. He started keeping the blog several years ago when he wanted to record his 30 day writer's retreat in Cape Cod. He used the blog for accountability. He still uses it for accountability (just the other day he posted that we'd be running the Half Marathon together!), but its highest appeal has to do with his honesty about the music business. And his encouragement. You will read his blog and start believing that you can reach your dreams, too!

I highly recommend all five of these blogs. I can honestly say that I feel my own creativity creeping cautiously back. Thank you to ALL my friends (and family members) who inspire me. (You know who you are.) But thank you especially to Phil, Lori, Nicolle, Jenna and Joel who have fed my soul with their beautiful, unique words these past couple of weeks.

I'm glad to be following you.

Blogging About Jogging

Twelve years ago my roommate and I would jog energetically down Belmont Boulevard. We would carry on rousing conversations and laugh and goof off. I felt so alive. We loved to admire the quaint cottages that lined our route and speculate about what the lives of their occupants were like.

Today I found myself in the same neighborhood and barely had the strength to look at the passing scenery as I urged my very out of shape body down the sidewalk. I am training for the Music City Half Marathon. I have been officially in training for only a week and it is killing me. I was excited when I heard that we (my running group from church and I) would be running in the Hillsboro Village/Belmont area today. Last Saturday we ran the Shelby Bottoms trail and it was beautiful, but there was not much to look at besides the river and the overgrown brush. Today there was a LOT going on: people were walking and running and pushing strollers and sitting on front porches. It was sunny and almost 50 degrees. And I BARELY got through it. I did not enjoy a minute of it. Oh, I felt great afterward as I sat drinking coffee at Bongo Java with the "twenty-somethings." But I was in pain for my entire run. I only ran 3.5 miles and it baffles me to think that I will run almost 10 miles further than that on race day in late April. You may wonder, "then why do it?" And I would tell you that I want to do it to prove to myself that I CAN! I'm also a little inspired by "The Biggest Loser." Those contestants usually run a FULL marathon at the end of the season. If they can do it, I know I can do it. My friend Joel actually pushed me over the edge when I was trying to decide whether or not to commit to it. He is one of those people who can do most anything, whose attitude is "why not?!" We are going to do the half marathon together and don't even get me started on how envious I am that he gets to train in Santa Barbara, running along the beach!

Anyway, the theme that seems to be running through my life right now is that anything worth having is worth working really hard for! There is a part of me that wishes things were easier, that wishes I didn't have to have hard conversations and wrack my brain for song ideas and exercise regularly and use every ounce of discipline to stop eating junk food! But I just have to keep telling myself that they WILL get easier if I keep pushing through the hard stuff and DON'T GIVE UP!

I wonder where we're running next Saturday?!

Sometimes Things Pan Out

In this industry where things seldom pan out, I am very blessed to announce that the Point Of Grace cookbook (Cooking With Grace) has gone to press and their record (with my song on it) is "in the can!" The record and cookbook are due out on March 2nd!

One of the most exciting things that can happen to a songwriter is to be invited to the studio to hear your song being recorded. Well, that happened to me in October, just two days after my birthday. I wrote "The Greatest Show On Earth" with the girls in Point Of Grace and Cindy Morgan. Another thrill that day was meeting their producer, Nathan Chapman. Yes, THAT Nathan Chapman, of Taylor Swift fame! The song sounds amazing and I am proud to be on the record.

The cookbook has been a labor of love. Point Of Grace's record label Word/Warner decided they wanted to publish it and furthermore, wanted it to be released in conjunction with the new record. We found this out in late November. Suddenly we were on a December 23rd deadline. You have never seen such scrambling and hard work. There were many nights that I could send out an email at midnight and receive 3 or 4 responses immediately. Point Of Grace was a dream to work with, as was Chuck Hargett, our designer, and Jill Tomalty and Tim Marshall from Word Records. If you are still waiting on a Christmas gift from me, just rest assured that I have a cookbook for you. I barely even had time to be Santa's little elf this year!

Now, it wouldn't be a Nashvegas Native blog without a little melancholy. Don't get me wrong. I am SO happy and thankful for these promising developments. I just have to admit that I am feeling a little lost now that this HUGE project is over. The photo shoot for the cookbook cover was last week and the book went to the manufacturer two days later. The next two days were "snow days" and then it was the weekend. And then reality set in this week. It is January and I don't have any resolutions or projects or writing appointments. Everybody is inspired and motivated and I just feel tired. I feel the need to refuel and relax. I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay to take some time for myself. After all, while everybody else was going to Holiday parties and Christmas shopping, I was frantically wrapping up the cookbook all during December. Or maybe I'm better off when I have a project. Maybe it's a little bit of both. Maybe I need to relax while figuring out my next project!

Actually, I do have one resolution so far. I want to blog more regularly this year! Please give me a really hard time if you haven't heard from me for a couple weeks!

The Blogger Returns

It has been exactly 6 months since my last confession.....um, I mean blog posting! But sometimes blogging does indeed feel like confession.

And boy, do I have some things to confess! I turned 43 today. I am not ashamed of it, but I have struggled with it more this year than in years past. For me, it always goes back to "what do I have to show for all these years?" Any time I am lamenting my rocky career path, I always end up exclaiming, "and I am 43 (or 30 or 35 or 41), for heaven's sake!" as if there are certain mile stones that ought to have been achieved by such and such age.

I was inspired and moved and brought to tears by the movie, "Julie & Julia" yesterday. I saw it by myself. In fact, it was the first time I have EVER seen a movie by myself. (which is a whole other can of worms for later!) It was wonderful. I feel like it was tailor made for me. Julia Child never published a cookbook until well into her forties. She couldn't even boil an egg at age 40! Such a message for women, like myself, who are still pursuing crazy dreams a little later in life! It was even more inspiring for me, personally, because I AM WRITING A COOKBOOK! Can you believe it? I had the idea a few months ago that my dear friends in Point Of Grace should do a cookbook. We are now in the stage of "shopping" our proposal, but I have no doubt that this is going to happen. For me. At age 43.

Another confession: I had long since lost hope of getting another country cut. Well, more good news came out of the Point Of Grace camp yesterday. They are recording the song that I wrote with them on their country record! This blessed event is happening on Monday. (Needless to say, Point Of Grace is my favorite group in the whole world right now!)

And while I'm confessing, I need to tell you that I have been in the bluest funk for the past few months. My job did not end well at the elementary school last Spring and I found myself in a creative drought. Like the writer, Julie, in the movie, I found a safe haven in cooking. It gave me a sense of purpose. I cooked and baked and sliced and diced my way back to sanity. And one day as I stood in my kitchen, I had the revelation that I could combine this love of food and cooking with my desire to write. I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my career. At age 43.

Maybe I should say some "Hail Marys" or something as penance for my lack of faith!

How I Met Your Father

Dear Sydney,

Since it is your Daddy's birthday, I thought I would tell you the story of how we got together.

It was early in the year 2000. I had recently made some big changes in my life. I had quit my job in the Christian music industry the summer before and had recently gotten a publishing deal. I remember telling my publishers that they were the only men I needed in my life. At 33, I finally realized that if I couldn't find the kind of man who would treat me like I longed to be treated, then I would rather just stay single. So I threw myself into my songwriting. For the first time in my life I quit worrying about when (and if) I would ever get married.

One Wednesday in February - it was Grammy night to be exact - Aunt Betsy and Uncle Sean invited me over for dinner. John and Jeanie were coming too - and your Dad! They had been trying to set us up for two years, but it had never worked out. Your Daddy said that he almost backed out when he heard there were going to be two couples there. He had a feeling he was being set up with someone. I was hesitant too and had told Aunt Betsy, "Okay, I'll come, but I'm not going to try and look cute and I'm going to leave at 9:00 to go to the Gym!"

When your Dad got there, I was in the kitchen making guacamole. I had a huge gash on my head because I had run from the studio to my car in the rain and had hit my head on the car door! I had met him before but had forgotten how nice looking he was. He was tall with beautiful blue eyes (like yours!) and a smile full of mischief (again, like yours!). Suddenly I was wishing I HAD tried to look a little cuter! But he didn't seem to care.

We talked and talked. And laughed. We kept quoting the movie "Fletch" because we both loved it. I sat next to him at dinner and I remember being so impressed with how friendly and outgoing he was with everybody. He asked great questions and he told great stories. I can't remember if I left early, as planned, or not. If I did, I'm sure I didn't WANT to.

He told Uncle Sean the next day that he would sure like to see me again. They planned a double date for Friday night. We went out to hear Jules' brother, Jeff and his band play. I'm sure they were great, but I only remember talking (maybe flirting a little) with Daddy. We had so much fun! I'm sure you can imagine because I see every day how much fun YOU have with him, too.

He called the next day to see if I'd like to go to a concert with him the following weekend (a whole WEEK away!). Of course I said "Yes!" but I was really wishing I could see him sooner! Well, he called again, a couple of hours later, and said, "Hey, you wouldn't want to go see a movie with me tomorrow, would you?" So, we did. After the movie we sat at Green Hills Grill and kept asking each other, "Where have you been?!" We were married just over a year later - on St. Patrick's Day. I didn't think it was possible, but I am even happier today than I was on that day!

I know you are not quite six, but I don't think it's too early to start teaching you the importance of being treated well by a man. It means so much to me when he takes you on "dates". I pray you will never settle for anything less than how your Daddy treats you (and me!). No marriage is perfect, but I never, ever doubt his love for me (and you!). I will never forget him saying one time, in our early days of dating, "I just can't believe I'm actually with Julie Corlew!" And he still makes me feel that special. And you are one blessed little girl to have him as your Daddy!

With much love,

Mama

P.S. You will be hearing this story a lot as you grow up, until one day you stand at the altar with a man of your own who is as kind, loving and generous as Daddy.